[Editor’s Note: Every season we provide a breakdown of the playoff bracket and its sole purpose is to provide a little entertainment before rolling. If he/she takes shots or jabs at you it means they like you, it’s all in good fun. As always, the guest writer has been granted anonymity.]
Well hello Everybody! Super Saturday Skeeson XXV is finally upon us! Who is ready for a night of laughs, fun, and Ben choking away another Chalice?! I’m here to give you my opinion on who the big winners and losers are going to be. So pull your therapist’s phone number up because I’m about to hurt some souls.
Top Left Corner
This is where some of the most intriguing match-ups live. I think our first upset of the night happens from the jump at 6:30 when Goonskees Never Say Die take home a hard fought win against 867-5skee09. To be fair to 867, no one stands a chance against a team with shirts like that. Unfortunately for the Goonskees, however, that means they have to roll again at 7:30 and that is probably too late for Kori. Unless baby Nallar steps up big as a an unapproved sub, they lose big to the number one seed. Also in the top left we have a very intriguing match-up between the Skeegenerates and ImSkeech Duke. The matchup between the 8 and 9 seed is always a doozie, but this match is made more intriguing as the self-proclaimed best team of all time has broken up and now must play each other. In the end, Pagnotta rolls back to back 900’s to end the match and take home the win for Imskeech Duke in spite of Viggy rolling a 137.
That brings us to a very spirited 1-9 matchup where #1 I Didn’t Throw That Pumpkin Spiced Hundos walks into a historical Playoff Wagon in Skeech. We all know everyone wants to see Ben lose, but how great would it be to see Ben roll a 500 and get taken down? That’s what I think happens here— Den, Mike, and Roller #3 will prove too strong for Ben and his two cronies. ImSkeech to the Final Four.
Bottom Left Corner
This part of the bracket is a little tougher. My favorite matchup is definitely Smooth Operators against #Skeetoo. Now, I don’t like it because it is going to be close (sorry #Skeetoo, but you stand about as good of a chance against SO as an aspiring actress does in Harvey Weinstein’s hotel room), but because Rob will have already rolled a legendary (read: mediocre) match and will be ready to lambaste Justin in the middle of his inevitable 320. Hall of Framers vs. Skeel Panthers is interesting in the sense that “why is this taking so long?” or “is this match over yet?” HOF against SO in the Elite Eight. From there we see a matchup of former teammates again with Marissa going against Mike. I feel like this a cop out, but whoever rolls last wins here on a last ball fifty— let’s say Smooth Operators to the Final Four.
Top Right Corner
Odds are Rob passes out here due to lack of oxygen from talking too much. So grab them by the pusskee chalice brings home a big upset at 7:30pm. You heard it here first. Bless Your Hundo rolling at 9:30 is a real detriment to Dawson as well all know blackout Dawson is not as good as John Dawson. As much as it pains me to say this, Andrew and the Drunk Dynaskee move on to the Elite Eight to face GEBTC. Unfortunately for Moody and the gang the only thing being grabbed is another drink at the bar. Sadly, Drunk Dynaskee to the Final Four.
Last but not Least, the Bottom Right Corner
The part of the bracket sees Tekashskee 69 winning their first-round match only to have Total Eclipse of the Hundo snitch on them to the whole league about how they don’t deserve to be in the second round. After about a 200-point loss the only option for Alex, Tim and Katie is Witness Protection (and an order of nachos at the bar). The 8:30 matchup of Brad. and An Offer Skee Can’t Refuse is what I am here for. As North Shore Rob has so eloquently pointed out, Ev is just not good anymore. But luckily for Brad., they’re playing Devin and he doesn’t know how to handle is liquor. Not even Cory Magno will be able save the team from from its highest roller. Unfortunately for Total Eclipse of the Hundo, when Brad. gets hot they stay hot. Brian, Everett, and Megan on the the Final Four.
Super Saturday
Ok, now that I’ve rambled on and on we have finally made it to the Final Four: Brad., Drunk Dynaskee, Smooth Operators, and I’mSkeech Duke. Come Super Saturday I think Pagnotta will be too drunk and Den will still be asleep leaving the door open for Smooth operators to get a big win. Smooth Operators moves on here. Brad. vs. Drunk Dynaskee is going to be quite the match. How can you bet against Andrew in these situations?! I think Everett’s arm is going to be sore from carrying all those cupcakes upstairs, Drunk Dynaskee on to the finals.
When everything is said and done, Smooth Operators will roll their way to a chalice this skeeson.
That’s all I’ve got for today. If anyone has any questions or concerns please feel free to reach out. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.