Season 22 Playoffs and Super Saturday
[Editor’s Note: The HRT will be out Friday, but we have a little bonus read prior to Thursday. Enjoy!]
Greetings, High Rollers!
Season 22 is in the books and between the 1050 rule and the improvements to the lanes, it has led to one of the more chaotic seasons in recent memory. Averages, hundos, and team scores have gone down overall which should lead to close games and more upsets than ever before [Editor’s Note:ohhhhh do I love upsets!]. If your team gets hot, it can carry you all the way to glory on Super Saturday. Let’s see.
Wild Card Round
#14 Rage Against the Machines vs #19 Land of the Skee And The Home Of The Going Up The Middle
First off, Land of the Skee has to have the longest name is SkeeBoston history [Editor’s Note: should be illegal]. They also picked a hell of a time to roll a season high in a must win game last week. Their reward? They face off against Pat Bassett. Maybe the Bruins crowd can get Pat a little stressed out but I don’t see him being affected that much and should move on.
#15 Skeelieve in Something vs #18 RBSkee
I’m very confused by this matchup. In another season, this could be a matchup for a spot in Super Saturday, but thanks to the new lanes, we get this one in the Wild Card Round. Mike Pagnotta has been heating up as of late and has a knack for putting up numbers in the playoffs. RBSkee can be a threat depending on the lane and amount of bubbles Kyra has before and during her roll, but Pags might mess around and throw another perfect frame in this one. Skeelieve in that.
#16 The Stephanie Tanners vs #17 Deep Blue Skee
Two of the league historically great rollers going head-to-head in Steph Burgess and Devin McDonald. This game will get figured in the first three frames if Greg & Diana find their 40. I think Diana does but Greg doesn’t which will lead to Devin checking out since he’s already not going to be at Super Saturday [Editor’s Note: inside information!]. He’ll go smoke his Juul, buy some Bruins tickets off a scalper, and start his vacation early. Steph Tanners advance.
The “What the Hell is a Sachem?” Bracket
#1 The Sachems vs #16 The Stephanie Tanners
WELL WELL WELL lookie what we have here! A first look at who is the better roller in the Selbovitz/Burgess household. I want some stakes on this [Editor’s Note: especially a week before the wedding!]. Can the loser take the winner’s name? Let’s put some stakes on this!
I would imagine Selbovitz would be a little hesitant on making any bets as that would mean adding more pressure on Justin. Justin has no confidence right now as he rolled himself out of a card over the past two weeks [Editor’s Note: this is amazing and I hope it’s official. Rob will never let him live this down]. Thankfully, Rob can pick up the slack in this match and the Sachems advance in a scare.
#8 Skee Skee Do U Luv Me vs #9 Jumanjskee
In the other matchup, we have a newlywed showdown! Liz vs Brian should be really interesting considering the last time they played, I had genuine concern the wedding was going to be called off [Editor’s Note: me too] after Liz’s shenanigans on Super Saturday. I wonder what Liz has up her sleeve this time. (Liz: I’m not saying that you should drive the car into Bri-Guy’s legs while he rolls, but I’m not NOT saying it.)
Overall, this is a very even matchup. I see the X-Factors being between the Mikes on each team: If Moody doesn’t get into his own head [Editor’s Note: he’s at TGB right now practicing… no seriously, he is], he’s very dangerous up the middle. Mike Grato might be the first rookskee to ever have playoff experience as a last second sub last season and it will be immensely useful as Jumajskee take out Skee Skee and Liz can go work on her KiKi Challenge.
#1 The Sachems vs #9 Jumanjskee
Another big test for the top seed. Bri-Guy has been surprisingly quiet all seasons. If he starts off the game hot, it could lead to Justin going full panic mode, forgetting when to go for hundos which makes Rob pull a Lebron and yell at him while Selbovitz tries to calm him down. Meanwhile, Marissa is laughing and asking Mike “this is what you left me for?”. Down go the Sachems and Jumanjskee makes it to Super Saturday.
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The Psyche-Out Division
#2 Baseskeetball vs #15 Skeelieve in Something
This is one hell of match-up. Seriously, how the hell is Skeelieve only a 15 seed. Is Johnny tanking the regular season is an attempt to get Boccskee back together? Don’t think that’s going to work, Hunt.
But what he will have going into his and his team’s favor is coming in warmed up against Baseskeetball. Ben continues to be on a rampage and Mike Foxon has done his typical sneaky good season. However, Johnny has won a trash talk award so he’ll have plenty of psyche outs ready. I see Skeelieve in Something breaking 1100 to take out the 2 seed and Ben is left doing the Happy Dance trying to get over this loss.
#7 Rick & Mortskee vs #10 Duke, Where’s My Car?
Steve Robinson has taken a tumble trying to figure out the new lanes, rolling his lowest average since Season 9 [Editor’s Note: ouch] (!!!). Perhaps he’s saving his rolls for the playoffs? Chelsey Jensen & Katie are really hoping so, especially Che since she signed up to be Steve’s teammate after he Vodka Red Bull’d his way out of the playoffs the last time they teamed up. Rick & Mortskee is one of the most balanced teams in the playoffs, as the triumvirate of Chelsea Glasner, Alex Carr & Christina Salvucci all have an average over 310. That consistency all across the lineup comes through huge in the playoffs and it should be enough to make Steve wait one more season for his Chalice.
#7 Rick & Mortskee vs #15 Skeelieve in Something
This matchup should be fantastic. Hunt and Pagnotta will focus on beating Rick & Mortskee instead of making ridiculous lunch bets and will continue to roll hot but it’s going to come down to Cheyenne. If she rolls in the 290-300 range, I skeelieve that they’re heading to Super Saturday. Aww jeez guys.
The “Quit Being A Skee Bag” Division
#3 Skee Bags vs #14 Rage Against the Machines
Andrew has quietly emerged as a top 5 roller in SkeeBoston and is technically defending his chalice from the draft season. He’s also going against his former teammate, Kyle Mack who has a big challenge going head-to-head with arguably the best roller in Pat and his former cham. These two will cancel each other out so it’ll come down to Cory & Danny vs Kyle & Dionne and unless Kyle can get a 400, I think Skee Bags advance.
#11 Skeerena Williams vs #6 Backskeet’s Back
This is a tough one to gauge because rumor has it Jerry needs to find two rollers to play[Editor’s Note: as of now he has zero approved] . I’m one that loves chaos but I can’t even pick Jerry’s mystery team. Polischoke, Lindsay, & Melissa move on.
#3 Skee Bags vs #6 Backskeet’s Back
Very curious to see how this one goes. Andrew & Cory are arguably the best duo in the league and they’ll need to be on their A game to move on. I think if Melissa can keep calm and not let a bad frame get to her, Lindsay will break 400 & more importantly Polischoke breaks 300, and they take out the Skee Bags.
The “Know Your Roll & Shut Your Mouth” Division
#4 Know Your Roll vs #13 SkeeQX
Know Your Roll has the stats to prove they are an upper echelon squad as they have only rolled under 990 once. SkeeQX might have been distracted since two of them got married during the season, but they have rolled over 990 only once. In order for SkeeQX to have a chance, they need to Jan to not only pick up her game but unleash one of her repetitive, expletive laden tirades at Dawson and hope he hits a 27 on his first hundo frame to get angry Dawson out.
And because it’s the Playoffs, odds are this is happening. SkeeQX moves on.
#5 Total Eclipse of the Hundo vs #12 The Team You Have Been Waiting For
Total Eclipse of the Hundo continues to roll fantastic with Jeff Wagner becoming the captain. Both he & Kyle Sherry averaged over 350 on the season and their rookskee Christine has been averaging 310 over the last four games. Everett already has a whole bunch of chalices and doesn’t need anymore but with Megan & Crys returning after a year off, he has plenty to play for. While Total Eclipse does have a long history of coming short in the playoffs, I don’t see their time ending now. Eclipse moves on.
#5 Total Eclipse of the Hundo vs #13 SkeeQX
This matchup has the very envious position of being at 9:30 and for at least half of their game, they will avoid the fun hell that is the crowd that engulfs the third floor after a Bruins game. I see Jan still swearing up a storm but this time it’s at herself for not being able to hit 40s. Total Eclipse wins and really regrets having to stay for the group photo.
Semi Finals:
[Editor’s Note: love these picks by the way!]
#5 Total Eclipse of the Hundo vs #9 Jumanjskee
These two teams are bringing their rookskees bright and early to the Greatest and it’s such a big difference playing at 10:30 AM instead of 10:30 PM. The matchup to watch here is Wagner vs Marissa. Marissa usually takes a step up in the playoffs and will be putting the pressure on Wagner to respond immediately. I think he does and I see Total Eclipse winning in a high scoring affair.
#6 Backskeet’s Back vs #15 Skeelieve in Something
There’s a lot of championship experience and arguably the two loudest people in the league in this matchup. Pagnotta & Lindsay Allen both roll 400 games, Johnny & Melissa will roll over 300, so it will come down to Cheyenne vs Polischuk and Polischuk is back alright!
Finals: #5 Total Eclipse of the Hundo vs #6 Backskeet’s Bac
Let’s break this down!
Roller #1 Christine vs Polischuk. The Rookskee vs the OSkee. One would think it should be Polischuk immediately but he hasn’t rolled an average as high as Christine’s since Season 8. They have hit a combined 4 hundos. Polischuk hit them all in week 8. That could very well be the difference in this matchup. Advantage: Backskeet
Roller #2 Jeff Wagner vs Melissa Taylor. Majority of their difference in average came in week 8 when Melissa hit a 270 & Wagner hit a 377. They essentially have the same hundos (Melissa 105, Wagner 104) but Wagner has been a more consistent roller up the middle and has broken 400 this season. Have to give this one to Total Eclipse.
Roller #3 Kyle Sherry vs Lindsay Allen Kyle has continued to be a quality roller since returning a couple of seasons ago but Lindsay has been on an absolute tear this season. She finished in the top 10 in average and tied for 4th in hundos. It’s tough to against her this season. Advantage: Backskeet.
So apologies to Backskeet’s Back as I’ve now totally ruined your chances for winning. Good luck to all of you and skee you Thursday!
[Editor’s Note:great write-up… I read about half of it. Anyone who makes it through the entire thing deserves a metal! Skee you all Thursday.]