Season 21 High Rollers Report
[Editor’s Note: Each season I handpick one of the veterans to write the High Rollers Report. The report is a breakdown of the individual match-ups on Super Saturday and its sole purpose is to provide a little entertainment the day before. If he/she takes shots or jabs at you it means they like you, it’s all in good fun. As always, the guest writer has been granted anonymity. So without further ado, I bring to you the Season 21 High Rollers Report.]
[Editor’s Note: Also, here are the brackets. My picks were HORRIBLE (Read: 0-4). I’m a jinx. Sorry!]
Greeting High Rollers – I guess no one volunteered to write this thing because Duke harassed me until I said yes. Lucky for him, I have a little time to kill before my train.
Welcome to SSXXI and the Season 21 High Rollers Report. The playoff match-ups last night are going to be tough to top, but I have no doubt the HRT will be full of fireworks. Lucky for Ben, Everett isn’t playing [Editor’s Note: Shots fired! I like where this is going already.]
Here’s how things stack up:
Fountain of Tears
Ben returns as the #1 seed for the second time in 4 years and will clearly be looking to repeat last season’s run – minus the ending. Standing in his way are Steph, Eric and Robo. [Editor’s Note: Ben might not have showed up if Everett was playing tomorrow]. I’m picking #24 Chelsea and #25 Christina to advance in the bottom half and Eric vs. Ben in the top. Speaking of upsets, watch out for #48 Alex. He averaged just under 300 the last three weeks of the season and is finding his 40 at the right time. Eric and Ben will not only be playing for a spot in the Elite Eight, they will be fighting for the Polischoke Smack Talk Trophy. Two of the best shit talkers in the league facing off. I’ll have my popcorn ready. Unfortunately for Ben, this season ends the same as last season – without an HRT. Eric survives, then advances to the Final Four.
Mr. Wong
Bri-guy has a lot on his mind right now (read: wedding in 2 weeks). I’m coming out of the gates firing in this bracket. #29 Ray knocks out Bri-guy and he goes back to cuddle with Liz at the bar [Editor’s Note: I doubt that will happen, but I like the pick]. I’m taking #13 Little Foxon to advance in the top half of the bracket. The bottom half is absolutely loaded! There are going to be a lot of close match-ups in this bracket and anything could happen. That said, Emily is on fire this season having rolled three rounds over 400 and leading her team to the Final Four tomorrow morning [Editor’s Note: Is that a shot at Dawson?!]. I’m taking Emily to survive the bottom, then knock out little Foxon and advance to the Final Four.
Pinball Wizard
Pinball just married the girl of his dreams and is coming off an all time high advancing to Super Saturday on a last ball hundo [Editor’s Note: what an epic finish]. If a beer share happens Pinball won’t be able to stand by the time the HRT rolls around. This bracket is going to be utter chaos. Give me Kori over Max and Pinball, Jerry over Mike and into the Elite Eight, and Dawson and Devin advancing on the bottom [Editor’s Note: How do you not call out Devin and Polischoke? What a match-up!]. SPF Hundo might lose the chalice, but Dawson won’t lose against Devin. Dawson into the Final Four.
Patty Cakes
I hate picking chalk, but I’m going to miss my train. Outside of #14 Lindsay, I think Pat cruises back into the Final Four [Editor’s Note: That’s it? So many good match-ups here. Keep an eye out for Dan and Jan].
Final Four
Eric vs Emily – Eric falls short, again. SPF Hundo is on a mission.
Dawson vs Pat – Somehow, some way, Dawson finds a way to win. I don’t know how, but it’s going to happen. SPF Hundo finals.
And…. your first time FEMALE HRT CHAMPION…. Emily Millet [Editor’s Note: Love the pick!].
There you have it. Get some sleep tonight my friends, tomorrow is going to be another epic day!