Season 20 High Rollers Report
[Editor’s Note: Each season I handpick one of the veterans to write the High Rollers Report. The report is a breakdown of the individual matchups on Super Saturday and its sole purpose is to provide a little entertainment the day before. If he/she takes shots or jabs at you it means they like you, it’s all in good fun. As always, the guest writer has been granted anonymity. So without further ado, I bring to you the Season 20 High Rollers Report.]
Welcome to Super Saturday XX! Combine trophies, Jack Daniels, trophies, cupcakes, and side bets with a little skeeball, okay maybe a lot of skeeball (the Chalice, HRT, Wild Card, Around the World, Hundo Shootout, and more…) and you get the best of day your life you might never remember [Editor’s Note: fact!]. If you’ve yet to experience Super Saturday then buckle up as it promises to be a wild ride. And if the team playoffs are any indication of how this weekend is shaping up, we’re in for one heluva show on Saturday.
Now we’re ticking away the hours and minutes for Super Saturday XX and Duke has left it up to me to figure out who is coming out on top in the High Roller Tournament. Who’s going to be this skeeson’s Loyola? As requested, I have broken down this Season 20 High Rollers Report into four brackets. This is going to be a quick one. Without further ado: the HRT Picks [Editor’s Note: that’s my line].
The Babe
This bracket is scary. Steve is already the front runner for the smashy and odds are he will be time traveling by the time the HRT rolls around tomorrow [Editor’s Note: he might still be blacked out from Thursday!]. Eric and Tom are on a collision course with the winner getting the first real shot at taking down Pinball(sorry Chelsey and D$). Eric usually struggles in these tournaments so I’m taking Tom. Unfortunately for Tom, Pinball rolls better blacked out so his run ends there.
On the bottom half, it’s tough not to take Pags after what he and Boccskee did last night. Two straight 1300+ games, apparently he called his perfect 900 and he rolls a 496. Ridiculous. I feel bad for everyone else that got stuck in this bracket, but Pags is steamrolling it. Move over pinball, there is a new HRT contender in town.
Old McDonald Had a Farm
Did everyone in the league improve this season? Well, except Ben (Hi Ben!). Glancing through this bracket I see 4 or 5 people that could make a serious run. Ben, Ryan, Cory, Scott and Devin all in the same bracket. I’m probably better off picking a name out of a hat. Not to mention, skeemates Devin and Polischoke in a round 1 showdown. I’m sure Polischoke will be a no show. Keep an eye on #37 Emily. Devin could be in trouble in round 2. If he survives, which I expect him to do, I see the momentum carrying him into the Final Four.
Big Red
Pat will be on a mission after getting knocked out of the playoffs by Dawson and his rookskee girlfriend [Editor’s Note: I hope they get a room next door]. The two are destined to meet in round 3. Dawson will have the entire bar in his corner (except Dionne, she will be on the ruff)[Editor’s Note: I just laughed out loud!]. I know Duke already loves this pick. I’m taking Dawson in the upset. Pat storms out. Dionne follows. Then Brian swoops in and steals a bid into the Final Four.
Dan Marino
Nick Weir is the best roller in the league with zero hardware. This is his tournament to lose. I’m taking Janelle and her hot hand over Everett, Diana over Wagner (he will choke yet again) and Rookskee Stephanie in the biggest upset of the tournament over Dan. Not much excitement here. Nick Weir. Sharpie. [Editor’s Note: Seth Davis is back again]
Final Four
Pags vs Ronald – Pags might roll a 900 in this match-up. He might also be time-traveling. Nerves will get the best of Devin. Pags moves on.
Peyton vs Big Red – Nick Weir. Sharpie. [Editor’s Note: I see what’s happening here.]
HRT Finals
A clash of the titans. Nick Weir. Sharpie. [Editor’s Note: Alan. Sharpie.]
Blame Duke for the short write-ups, he sent me this bracket 2 hours ago. Good luck to all of the teams and rollers on Super Saturday XX. Looking forward to a great day on the lanes (and at the bar) with all of you. Skee you there!