The time has come for the latest edition of the High Rollers Report! We say it every Skeeson- “Anything can happen in the HRT.”
Here’s what we know for sure:
- Dionne is a Skee Queen, Patty is her Jester
- Ben changes a hundo diapers but can’t hit hundos anymore
- Andrew and Devin couldn’t hack it in Boston so they joined a Salem league
- The league is better without Duke (and Everett) ruining things
Andrews Bracket #1 Seed (is this a typo?)
Potential Matches to Watch – Bad Moms Club?
Marissa in Liz used to nurse hangovers, now, children…. Personally, this is the match I would love to see. Couple old school rollers meeting in the Round of 16 for a spot in the Elite 8. – Marissa eventually is too much for Liz (or Chuck) and moves on.
Bracket Winner –
Without an HRT on her resume, some question if Marissa has the mental fortitude to go the distance. Couple things she has going for her, the field is now limited to 32 and she is most likely going to play an average Salem roller to book a trip to the final 4. Salem Skee is equivalent to the G League of the NBA. For these reasons, Marissa comes out of formerly someone way betters’ bracket with ease. On to the Final Four for Marissa.
Dawson’s Bracket #2 Seed
Bracket Sleepers – Greg and Bart
Bart, built like a truck but occasionally finds the center and pops off. Could he shock the world and send a LOADED Dawson packing in round 1. Greg on the other hand…. “this guy fucks”. Cool, calm, collected… with years of being Ben’s under study I feel he has what it takes to make some noise.
*Honorable mention (Cory)
Is Cory really a sleeper? A tried-and-true Veteran with accolades galore, his strongest attribute is aligning himself on teams with Mount Rushmore caliber rollers…. Can he break through in 2024 to make a name of his own?
Robo….
Is he really the 10 seed? Guy has made a living off lurking in the weeds and striking like a snake…. Robo vs Cory matchup could easily be the winner of the HRT this year.
Bracket Winner – hmm?
Dawson is one of those guys who loudly goes about his business. consistently shown that he is capable of making it to the finals of the HRT, then crumble once the pressure is on. You better pray this guy doesn’t turn green and Hulk Smash you to death. With that said, Dawson is too drunk from winning back 2 back Chalices…. On to the Final Four for Cory
Pat’s Bracket #3 Seed
Bracket Sleeper – Jen Tanner
Has Jen taken a season off since Skee Boston started? Nobody is more deserving or due than her. When she isn’t frequenting space mountain we all know she can be found at TGB… I have her breaking hearts this year with a deep run.
Match to watch – Pat vs Dionne
We all know Pat loves his wife…. But he REALLY loves HRT trophies. Does he put Dionne in a guillotine choker early or does she take a stand and make him sweat this one out?
Bracket Winner – Brian
Like Jen, Brian is a staple of the Skee Boston community… only difference is he’s won this thing once or twice (fact check me). Patty is also a little foggy from drinking Naragansetts from his B2B chalice …. On to the Final Four for Brian.
Steve’s Bracket (Not Ben) #4 Seed
Bracket Sleeper – #20 Katie Gaudette
Katie, recently off her witch trial in Salem, flying high on her broomstick waiting for the right time to strike…. I think she has learned a thing or two watching Andrew beat up on the Salem crowd and is primed to make a deep run. Long road ahead though, needs to make a statement against Johny, then Steve.
Bracket Winner –
Ben and Steve, both widely considered Skeeball OG’s, probably First Ballot hall of famers, this could be the greatest display of talent we see all HRT. Ben, with a chip on his shoulder from rolling dogshit all season; sub 400 average, outside the top 4, no chance at a chalice (Love to see it tbh) …On to the Final Four for Ben.
-FINAL FOUR-
#9 MARISSA VS #5 BEN
With both top seeds gone from the left side I foresee a match of the ages, potentially causing a riff in the Fountain household for weeks to come. The second husband wife matchup of the day goes to the one who wears the pants…. Marissa. Motherly strength and determination are too much for Ben…. That and he has a long history of choking in the big moments.
#7 CORY VS #6 BRIAN
Two quiet guys battling it out … this one has the makings to produce on lane fireworks. Cory rides an extra-frame victory to the finals.
-FINALS-
#9 MARISSA VS #7 CORY
Will we see another female rise to the top, stand next to the legend herself, Salvucci! I think so… like Ben, the pressure may be too much for Cory to handle. Good luck to all, hail FIRST TIME HRT CHAMPION MARISSA!