Season 12 High Rollers Report
[Editor’s Note: Each season I handpick one of the veterans to write the High Rollers Report. The report is a breakdown of the individual matchups on Super Saturday and its sole purpose is to provide a little entertainment the day before. If he/she takes shots or jabs at you it means they like you, it’s all in good fun. As always, the guest writer has been granted anonymity. So without further ado, I bring to you the Season 12 High Rollers Report.]
SkeeBOSTON Skeeson 12 – High Roller Tourney (HRT) Preview
Kudos to the ghost writer that previewed the Skeeson 12 team tourney…at nearly 2,500 words, that’s a monumental effort…five pages single spaced (though it could have been 20% shorter if you removed every reference of “in the regular season these teams ended up no more than one ranking apart” or “this will be a close one”)[Editor’s Note: FACT!]. I liken your wordiness to Steve “Pinball” Robinson who has likely rolled more skeeball than anyone in SkeeBOSTON history between matches and free skee, but probably could have (should have?) achieved the same results if he rolled a lot less.
So let’s get to the brackets. The top four seeds are three men and a single lady (note the double entendre – Google it, Duke) [Editor’s Note: I did too]. It’s no surprise to see the four of them (Steve, Pat, Steph, and Devin) as they’ve all been top rollers in the past. What will be a surprise, however, is if one or more of them can survive the gauntlet that is the HRT and emerge victorious as Skeeson 12 HRT champion. Preview: it’s not going to happen [Editor’s Note: I like where this is heading already].
Ladies first. #4 Stephanie Burgess won the chalice in skeeson 10 but hasn’t had similar success in the HRT. Her 40 game can carry her far, but with only one full hundo frame in three for the HRT, she’ll need to step up her game if she wants to swipe opponents left on her way to moving on in the bracket. Interestingly, her skeeson 10 & 11 skeemate, #6 John Greek, is the highest seed in the bracket standing in her way and has a similar game, as he rolled eleven 40 streaks this skeeson. There are a few roadblocks in this bracket for both of them – most notably #11 Eric Siegel and #14 Bobby Arguello. There’s also #22 John “Dawson’s Creek”, and perhaps one of the most improved SkeeBOSTON rollers of the past few seasons in #27 Brady Zupan, who put up seven 40/50 combos this skeeson. I like #11 Eric to come out of this bracket over #14 Bobby [Editor’s Note: Who the hell in Bobby? It’s Robo!], he seems to be peaking at the right time and is hungry for a major trophy after a deep run in the team tourney last skeeson. P.S. Single guys, if you need help interpreting the theme of this bracket you’re doing it wrong [Editor’s Note: Great find].
My Parents are so Proud of Me Bracket
Congrats to Steve, as he finally achieved his ultimate life goal (sorry, Kristen Skillman) of #1 roller in SkeeBOSTON. Looking over the brackets, Pinball must be licking his chops, particularly relative to the bracket for the #2 seed which looks like the bracket from hell in my opinion (more on that in a second), but has to guard against overconfidence. #8 Joe Stromer didn’t have his best skeeson overall, but is capable of getting hot at any moment, and the same can be said for #9 Frank Davoli [Editor’s Note: if he shows up…]. The wildcards for me are #16 Dan Wohleber and #32 Tim Decker, who could meet Pinball in the upper half of the bracket and derail Steve’s run for another title. #41 Heather Ryan is also a sneaky low seed, as she’s been known to find her form on Super Saturday and make a run in the HRT. I think Steve makes it back to the elite 8, but that’s where his run is likely to end against #9 Frank Davoli in an upset. While I don’t see it happening, how great would a Pinball vs. Skillman final be?!?
In contrast to Pinball who must like his draw, #2 Pat Bassett is probably looking at his bracket and wishing he could re-roll the 361 from lane 2 on Thursday night. Then again, we’ve all seen him choke on lane 3 in the HRT, so would it really matter? [Editor’s Note: burnnnn.] Staring up at him are three former HRT champs in #7 Scottie “Too Hottie” Sinclair, two-time champ #10 Ev “The Baker” Phillips, and #15 Brian Aldridge. Not to mention #26 Robyn Woodman, who made one of the most incredible runs to the Skeeson 9 HRT final that SkeeBOSTON has ever seen before falling just short, and perennial top 20 roller in #18 Eric Mendes. Pat has made back-to-back HRT finals, but he really has his work cut out for him if he’s going to get there again this skeeson. He sweated a wild card match last skeeson, and could be out in the second round if #31 Chelsey Jensen finds the right hundo hole (skee what I did there?), particularly if it’s on lane 2. I feel bad for #7 Scottie, as I heard his skeemates flaked out the day before playoffs [Editor’s Note: I’m speechless. WTF.] I’m picking Scottie, and the chip on his shoulder, to get to the final eight from the bottom half of the bracket, but the HRT is built on volatility, so #31 Chelsey Jensen is my pick to make the final four over her former skeemate. Another Cinderella in the final four!
The Captain Goes Down with the Ship Bracket
Five of this season’s twenty captains from the draft are in this bracket, and two of the five, including #4 seed Devin McDonald didn’t make the team tourney. Though perhaps none is more disappointing than #29 Christina “Coozie” Cusolito, who must have felt a little pressure this skeeson as her average dropped more than 60 points from last skeeson (is there an award for least improved roller?!?)[Editor’s Note: no]. Clearly, she and Devin will be out for revenge. That being said, there are some great matchups in this bracket, including a first rounder between skeemates #20 Lindsay Allen and #45 John Polischuck (congrats on breaking 300 two whole times this skeeson and avoiding the Wild Card tourney…just ship me your trophy now!). The bottom half of the bracket has some seasoned vets in #5 Chuck “Schmoopy Pants” Rogers, #12 Jerry Glendye, #21 Jamie Bergstein, and the highly volatile (and boisterous) #44 Zach Ryan. I think Polischoke could get in his skeemate’s head (poor pick, Lindsay), so I like #13 Ben Fountain in the top half in mild upset, while #5 Chuck should move on to the elite eight and eventually the final four.
Final Four (I can see Duke celebrating now…not straight chalk!!) [Editor’s Note: umm… can you write again next skeeson? It’s about freaking time someone grew a pair. Everything about these picks is amazing… except Chuck. Hi Chuck!]
#11 Eric Siegel vs. #31 Chelsey Jensen
#5 Chuck Rogers vs. #9 Frank Davoli
Having come close to glory last skeeson, Eric is hungry for a big trophy. Chelsey has the game, but her run will come up just a bit short.
On the other hand, Chuck is on a mission for his second HRT and could be the first back-to-back HRT winner [Editor’s Note: please don’t do it…]. Chuck will have a little too much for Frank to handle and make it to his third HRT final.
This will be a close one (zing!) [Editor’s Note: I see what you did there]. When he’s on, Eric can hang with the best of ‘em and is a versatile roller that can hit both 50s and hundos when needed. Chuck is trying to cement his legacy as one of SkeeBOSTON’s elite rollers. I’m going with the underdog here and predict #11 Eric Sigel will walk away as SkeeBOSTON skeeson 12 High Roller Tourney champion. [Editor’s Note: if Chuck makes it to the finals, he won’t lose.]
Good luck to everyone in the team tourney and HRT this weekend. Enjoy Super Saturday XII, the best time you’ll never remember, and I’ll skee you on the lanes!